Counseling Wives of Men in Ministry

The help given to women in ministry has a far-reaching impact because of the number of people who are under their care. “I have no one to talk to!” This plea for help grips the heart of any counselor. But in this case, the speaker was a woman who served alongside her...
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A Counselor’s Conduct Matters

Recently, I heard a counselee say, “Sometimes I ask myself, what would Caroline do if she were in my place?” That statement made me realize that even though I want my listeners to focus on following Christ, they will look to me as a real-life example. Do you realize...
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Tips for Couples Who Help Couples

In a previous blog, I offered a list of four blessings to be found through couples counseling other couples. This blog provides tips on how to make team counseling operate smoothly. If only we could ask Priscilla and Aquila for their advice! They are known for...
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How God Uses Couples to Help Couples

My husband and I share a counseling life: attending conferences, training counseling students, learning from each other’s cases, and counseling as a team.[1] Not every biblical counselor has an overlapping ministry with their spouse, but many do. For example, some...
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A Counselor’s Conversation Matters

“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, so a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend” (Proverbs 27:9). These beautiful words demonstrate the goal of the biblical counselor’s conversation with the counselee. In biblical times oil and perfume were luxurious gifts from a...
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Having Heroes Helps

The best counselors are always on the lookout for new blogs, podcasts, audio lectures, booklets, and books to recommend to counselees. So much has been written and said concerning typical and even atypical counseling problems. We start with the Bible, of course, the...
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“I Feel as if God is Perpetually Angry with Me”: How False Theology Impacts Counselees

Each week I meet with women who have various difficulties. Some struggle with perfectionism, which makes them feel as if they can never reach their goals. Others have eating disorders consisting of self-made rules that lead to defeat and self-criticism. A few suffer...
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A Counselor’s Character Matters

Some readers of this blog have been counseling a long time; others are new to helping others. No matter how much experience we’ve had, it is good to think back to our beginning counseling classes where we learned the importance of the helper’s character. She should be...
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Reconciling Friendships After Conflict

I nearly ruined a relationship with a counselee. I want to share the lessons I learned from my mistake and share a testimony of God’s grace to bring reconciliation.   All of us value the friendships which develop through...
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Caroline’s New Book: When Words Matter Most

I am very excited that my wife, best friend, and favorite counselor, Caroline Newheiser, has co-authored her first book, along with our dear friend Cheryl Marshall, to be published by Crossway. This book contains wonderful practical wisdom for ladies who want to honor...
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Help for the Counselor Who Feels Overwhelmed

Help for the Counselor Who Feels Overwhelmed

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Recently a conversation with a friend ended with the question, “How do you handle meeting with so many women without getting overwhelmed?” This caring person became a friend because we have spent hours together talking through some very difficult issues in her life....

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Lessons Learned from a Fallen Pastor

Lessons Learned from a Fallen Pastor

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Introduction (by Jim Newheiser) Recently, the BCC presented a blog about “Helping Adult Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse,” authored by Caroline Newheiser along with an anonymous victim. A fallen pastor who read Caroline’s blog contacted me and wanted to tell his story...

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Helping Adult Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse

Helping Adult Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse

Recent news reports have revealed the sad reality of several adult women who were victims of sexual misconduct by a man in spiritual leadership. The following article offers suggestions for the counselor who has the opportunity to counsel women in similar...

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Is Accountability Too Intrusive?

Is Accountability Too Intrusive?

Have you ever wondered how involved a counselor should be in the life of a counselee? Have you ever thought, “It is fine to meet once a week, but I shouldn’t become more involved”? Do you ask yourself, “Am I being too nosy to ask my counselee to report on specific...

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